Hi Friend.
I was incredibly worried about this summer. Summer of 2010 looked bleak as I said goodbye to my only close mom friend. God was taking their family to Africa for 3 months and although I was incredibly excited for them I was scared that I wasn't going to have anyone to call. My husbands tour schedule was gearing up, and the summer days were creeping up on Rock and I, threatening to keep us inside. I remember telling my sister-in-law over the phone that I was nervous about the next 3 months; my perceived future of loneliness starring me in the face.
I had almost forgot about all the dreaded feelings surrounding this past summer. Last night I was reminded of my recent fears and equally astounded at how they were overcome...not by me, but by God. This summer was a full one for me. Rock and I met friends at the pool at least once a week, went to church every Sunday, called friends and made friends.
I feel so rich even as I write this...going from literally one close mom friend to a list of them in three short months is astounding to me. There were plenty of moments where I thought, "I must look so desperate. How many phone calls and emails are too much? Am I seriously as weird as I feel sometimes? My clothes are stupid." I realize that last thought doesn't quite go with the others, but I think it multiple times a week...oooopsies!
I know in my mind that God desires healthy community for each of his children. In the midst of struggling through finding my place and going through lonely patches I've realized because I personally know loneliness I feel a little more equipped to love in a bigger way. Is there anything lower on the social totem pole than not having close friends? And how much sweeter is it to know the love of others when there has been a void in the past.
I love how God loves me through other people. Sometimes my introverted self forgets how much I need others in my life. In this moment I am full...thinking about the pure raw love I have been given this Summer of 2010. And the friends didn't come because I was strong or rich or beautiful. They came because I was weak and needy and open.
So...thank you, new friends and old for filling my days and pointing me towards heaven. I need you!
I had almost forgot about all the dreaded feelings surrounding this past summer. Last night I was reminded of my recent fears and equally astounded at how they were overcome...not by me, but by God. This summer was a full one for me. Rock and I met friends at the pool at least once a week, went to church every Sunday, called friends and made friends.
I feel so rich even as I write this...going from literally one close mom friend to a list of them in three short months is astounding to me. There were plenty of moments where I thought, "I must look so desperate. How many phone calls and emails are too much? Am I seriously as weird as I feel sometimes? My clothes are stupid." I realize that last thought doesn't quite go with the others, but I think it multiple times a week...oooopsies!
I know in my mind that God desires healthy community for each of his children. In the midst of struggling through finding my place and going through lonely patches I've realized because I personally know loneliness I feel a little more equipped to love in a bigger way. Is there anything lower on the social totem pole than not having close friends? And how much sweeter is it to know the love of others when there has been a void in the past.
I love how God loves me through other people. Sometimes my introverted self forgets how much I need others in my life. In this moment I am full...thinking about the pure raw love I have been given this Summer of 2010. And the friends didn't come because I was strong or rich or beautiful. They came because I was weak and needy and open.
So...thank you, new friends and old for filling my days and pointing me towards heaven. I need you!
Sonny! Can't believe it's taken me this long to get to your blog.. but what a great entrance for me with this one. Becoming a mom of a little one again has given me so many surprises, and one of the sweetest has been getting to know you!! I love that we found each other here, with these boys, at this time. Can't wait for more great talks, and hopefully no more soliciting by peddling park mamas!
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